What are my options?
AGREE TO HELP PARENT THE CHILD
Taking responsibility for your actions and providing support for your child is a noble and commendable action. This choice takes into consideration what is in the best interest of the child, when the decision has not yet been made to marry your girlfriend.
MARRY & RAISE THE CHILD TOGETHER
For some couples, committing to each other in marriage, wanting to be a family and working together is the best option in these circumstances. Every child has the right to have both a father and mother in the home.
PLACE THE BABY IN TEMPORARY FOSTER CARE
When you feel like you don’t “have it together”, but you want to do the right thing, placing your child in temporary foster care might give you time to put the framework for parenting your child into place.
This choice is one that considers the care of your girlfriend, your child, and yourself. When a final decision whether or not to raise the child has been made, you can work this out without the pressure you were once under.
ABANDON THE WOMAN
You could abandon your girlfriend, though this is not an honorable decision. You may feel that you have an education to think about. Maybe you want to see the world. Will you feel proud of this decision in years to come?
Our actions have consequences and responsibilities. Have you ever felt abandoned during a difficult time in your life? Your girlfriend and your baby need you now. Whether you want this baby or not, whether you love this woman or not, you are still a father. Maybe your father was not available for you. You can break this pattern of abandonment with this relationship.
HELP TO PLACE THE BABY FOR ADOPTION
Adoption is a loving, unselfish choice. Depending on the circumstances involved, this difficult decision may the best one for your baby. Perhaps your girlfriend may decide that this option is the one she wants for the baby and you feel like your baby is being abandoned. Consider this, adoption is making a plan for your child that will give it the future you may not be able to provide.
Adoption agencies and attorneys thoroughly screen families. Adoption has changed for the good. Open adoption allows you to have communications and pictures of your child. If you want, you can register with the state so that your child can find you when he/she turns 18. What would you say to your child when he/she finds you? You have 18 years to think abut this, but you might begin with, “Your mother and I loved you and chose to give you a chance at a wonderful life.”
ABORT THE BABY
This option carries possible traumatic consequences, not only for the baby, but also for the mother and father. This may seem to be an option that hides the fact that your girlfriend is pregnant. You may think that the “problem is gone.” However, evidence-based research has shown that many men and women suffer traumatic consequences called post abortion trauma. They are filled with guilt and shame, regretting the choice they made. This child is a life. It is not an extension of your girlfriend’s body.
Society may tell you that this life is just a piece of tissue and this “simple procedure” will eliminate all your trouble. Really? Be informed and think it through.
Life happens. Mistakes are made. We have to live with our mistakes. A helpful thought worthy of consideration: Which option do you wish your parents would have made for you?